Friday, September 18, 2009

A Change Gone Come

Back in April after my last bad bout with PCOS problems I hit the pavement walking and cut back on portions and cut out sweets. Since that time I am sooo happy and proud to report that I have lost 70 lbs!!! I am super excited about the changes in my life and have decided to change my style as well. I have gotten a nose ring that I LOVE! And I've completely changed my look and style in clothes. If anyone out there is wanting to lose weight, take it from me, if I can do it so can you! Hard work, dedication, perserverence and learning how to say no and push away from the table when it's easier to do otherwise! I am continuing toward my goal. I have 22 more pounds to lose before my first goal and 57 more before I reach my long term goal. If you are working on yourself, your health and your weight as well, good luck to you and keep the faith. You can do it! Since losing this weight, the first month the majority of my PCOS symptoms disappeared. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! A picture of the new me and my new nose ring!

Long time no blog, lots to say!

It has literally been forever since I last posted. So much has happened in my life it is impossible to catch up but one major thing is that Brian and I have moved. We purchased 20 acres in the Carolina Community in March and moved our trailer to a new homestead. We like things a whole lot better here and are finally settling in. I have posted a few pictures of the land before we moved the trailer. I will try to post some after we moved it later.

Saturday, April 25, 2009


After 68 days on the women to women program I had to stop due to bleeding for 4 weeks. I have been very torn as to what to do about the current situation. After getting a free consultation with one of the nurses from women to women she told me about a book called "What to do when the Dr. says it's PCOS." After recieving the book I did decide to come off the program and call Dr. Wells to do another chemical D&C. I am feeling very discouraged and washed out with all of the excessive bleeding. I do still believe that God is on his throne and ask Him daily to help me. After reading 2 chapters in the book they led me to a support group for PCOS suffers that I have included in my friends list After doing more research I ran across a company call insulite laboratories dedicated to reversing PCOS and the insulin resistance it also causes. A much stricter regimen than I was on but if it heals it is worth it. When you have been this sick you are at the bottom and any way is up. Women to women made me feel so good I hated so bad to stop the program but I feel like they were focused only on balancing hormones rather than actual PCOS. I am even more hopeful about insulite labs and feel like the Lord allowed me to find women to women to help lead me to them. I have not ordered it yet but will hopefully be speaking to a Dr. from there on Monday. I am currently feeling like I cannot put one foot in front of the other due to all of the bleeding and will go today to have blood drawn to make sure I am not low in iron and becoming anemic. I covet your prayers and still believe that God is in control. I had to order the book from due to the fact that books a million has only 2 books in the entire store on PCOS. I am amazed how little information there is out there on this syndrome. The girl who assisted me in books a million told me this was not a "popular" subject or they would have more books on it. She then proceded herself to ask me "what in the world is PCOS?" She is in medical school and I shared the highlights of PCOS that I knew with her. I am a private person but I choose to blog and share about this painful most horrific syndrome in hopes that it will help someone else. This is the absolute hardest thing I have ever been through in my life and to know that I have had this since my teens and no one to diagnois me or seem the least bit interested in helping is VERY discouraging. I pray for healing God's way and if it is by this insulite labs I pray right now for the Dr.'s and people who will help me. If not, I pray that he send the answer quickly. I am drained with this problem and treating myself. When I speak of PCOS people are so unaware of what it is and they don't understand there is so much more to the syndrome than just cyst on your ovaries. I want to get the word out about PCOS. I believe many women are suffering just like me, (maybe not in the exact same way but PCOS has MANY different symptoms) and they don't understand why or what to do. I am willing to speak to anyone who will listen and help anyone who may be suffering with this horrific problem. Even if you aren't suffering with PCOS, educate yourself on the syndrome. It could happen to you or someone close to you and you may be their support or listening ear and after educating yourself will at least know some of the symptoms and be able to relate in some way. It is painful to suffer alone and to talk to someone about it when they have no idea how to relate to you in any way. I will try to post some positive news very soon. Brian and I have some good news to share that some of you may already know about. I do not have the time to post about it now but hope to very soon. I hope that everyone is doing well and thank you all so much for your prayers, support and encouraging words. God reigns and He is FAITHFUL!!
In His Care,

Saturday, March 14, 2009

On a more personal note...

First of all I would like to say this post is a little more personal than any of my previous posts. But after much consideration I have decided to post this with the hopes that it may help other people.

This month March marks 5 years that Brian and I have been trying to concieve (TTC). I have mentioned that in an earlier post I believe. What I didn't mention however is all the problems we have had. In 2004 after some symptoms I just didn't feel were right I visited my OBGYN, which was located in Enterprise at the time. He insisted that we do a biospy of my uterus. I took his advice and went through with that. After the biospy come back negative, he would need to perform a laproscopy. I had never heard of this and after his explanation of this exploratory surgery to find out what was going on, I scheduled surgery. After coming out of surgery he explained that he completed a D&C, asparated a cyst on my ovary and burnt out a small amount of endometrosis in my lower pelvis. He explained that the endometrosis was probably what brought me in his office in the first place and acted as if I should be back to normal soon. I always hesitate to ask a Doctor questions since they ARE the DOCTOR. He said there was no doubt that the endometrosis would return and in order to avoid further complications I should get pregnant or get on birth control. We decided to TTC.

After several months and on into a year of not being successful one tends to start to worry a bit. My mother-in-law told me about a chinese natural medicine Dr. that performed accupuncture and prescribed herbs in Destin. I decided I would give it a try. I mean after all what could it hurt? After several several trips to Destin and a lot of research Brian had come to the conclusion that I had PCOS (Polycysitic Ovarian Syndrome). I shared this with the Chinese Dr. and he said that it was very very hard to treat. After several more trips, I decided he was right. He had helped my endometrosis but he could do nothing for the PCOS. I felt like I was hitting my head against a brick wall. #1 do I even have PCOS? I should probably trust my husband who loves me unconditionally and does everything he can to research all of my problems. But on the other hand, I've never heard of this before and why in the WORLD didn't my OBGYN mention this? I have all of these symtpoms. I feel bad more than I feel good for no reason at all. I have horrible mood swings, so terrible I can hardly stand myself at times (poor Brian!). Thank the Good Lord above for providing unconditional love. Not to mention the personal female issues I am having with my menstrual cycle, infertility, weight gain and other very embarassing problems that I will spare you the details of.

After much more research in 2006 Brian thought I should take a medication called metformin to try to decrease some of the symptoms of PCOS. Finally after months and actually more like a year of begging, I decide to give it a try. The drug that has been around for years, used by diabetics but has been studied more recently for PCOS and the insulin resistance effect that comes with it. Keep in mind, NO medical Dr. has yet to say to me, I believe you may have PCOS. Obviously it is hard to diagnois and treat. But truly at this point you have to ask yourself, "Does any Doctor care about truly finding out what is wrong with me?" I feel like Brian and I have done more medical research trying to find out what is wrong than any Dr. ever has. My sweet and precious husband the RN believes I have this without a doubt, so what do I have to lose by trusting him and his research. Obviously he cares more than any Dr.

After several months on the drug and still no positive pregnacy test in 2007 we decide to see a fertility specialist. It took 1 full year for a local family Dr. to document that we had TTC before we could recieve a referral to the Fertility Dr. Here we are 3 years into TTC and my family Dr. wants to wait another year so they can document it!!! many frustrations. About 8 months into the metformin and only a few of my symptoms have started to disappate. I still have more bad days than good. I wish that I could truly explain the feelings that I have but I cannot. They are not really explainable, which I will have to say is one of the worst things about all of this. People think you are just putting on or lazy or just don't want to do anything. Brian is an outgoing outside person. When he is off he likes to enjoy it by doing things and my heart is to be with him as much as possible during his time off. Unforunately I never felt like doing anything. Even after a good nights rest I would still feel so bad. Tired, run down, achy, headaches, just plain awful. On a good day 2-4 advil would get me through, bad days it would take at least 6. Advil would only relieve some of the aches that I was experiencing. It NEVER releaved ANY of the just plain awful feelings. One Dr. said I was depressed. Gave me depressions medicine, I took one pill and swore to the good Lord above that when that pill got out of my system, I would never take another one and I didn't. I wasn't depressed, I wasn't dreaming, there was something wrong with me and I couldn't explain it to anyone and no Dr. seemed to care enough to find out what it was. Lose weight some would say, exercise (by the way, try excercising the next time you have the flu and see how that feels) that's the best way I know to explain it. After seeing several Dr.'s, trying all kinds of medicine and herbs and nothing seeming to help one can get a little discouraged and frustrated.

So here we are a documented 1 full year of TTC by the Dr. and still no positive pregnancy test. FINALLY a referral to have a BABY!! YEAH!! I was excited, hopeful and a ball of nerves all in one. We headed to Pensacola to see a well known fertility specialist there. I must say my first impression was a little blah...he was a little on the arrogant side but my husband will tell you that is just a trait of a surgeon. My first visit he takes 12, count 'em 12 viles of blood! I went back several visits for ultra sounds and vaginal ultra sounds to confirm ovulation and make sure everything looked normal. Brian was tested as well and when all results were in everything looked completly normal. I was even given a GTT test to test my blood sugar. After all normal results the Dr. says he must go in for another laproscopy. Ugghh, that is NOT what I wanted to hear. He thinks it's highly possible my endometrosis is back and possibly another cyst. I agree to have yet another laproscopy. After surgery is over he comes out and says these words, "I found absolutely no endometrosis, no cysts and piles of eggs. Dawn's reproductive organs look text book perfect. I see no reason that she isn't concieving." WHAT???? Two weeks after surgery we are back in his office to hear that we are in the 15% of unexplainable infertility. Well imagine that?!?!? Another road block!! God what are you trying to show me here? What are you trying to teach me? I have all kinds of feelings and emotions that run from anger, frustration, sadness to asking God WHY is all of this happening! The Dr. says we cannot take the well known drug for fertility "clomid" since I am ovulating or it will reverse my ovulation. We can come to Pensacola 2-3 days a week to pursue fertility injections and see where that gets us. However, he doesn't see any reason we shouldn't be able to concieve on our own. And just for the record, he states that I DO NOT have PCOS because I must have ovulation issues and more than one cyst on my ovary to classify me as a PCOS patient; I am more confused and frustrated than ever. I don't know whether to go back on metformin that has given me more relief at this point than anything or just stop taking it.

Since seeing the fertility specialist, I have continued to research and tried to find something to help me with my problems. Brian has found that I am pseudo PCOS. Pseudo??? I have what mimics PCOS. So basically I have the symptoms and some parts of PCOS. PCOS is very hard to diagnois and treat. Not all people have the same symptoms. It isn't like the flu, you can't say these are the symptoms of PCOS and you definitely have it. I have taken test that I have found online to show that I do have PCOS. Too many symptoms to say that I don't. I hate to tell the fertility specialist but he is wrong. I may not have the symptoms of not ovulating and more than one cyst but I have so many other symptoms, too many to ignore.

I shared this with a very close friend to me and a prayer warrior. She is a true friend to me and a God fearing woman that I love and trust. About 6 or 8 months ago she ran across an episode of "Mystery Diagnosis" on TLC of a girl that she said had a lot of the same symptoms as I did. She was so conviced that we had the same thing she called me and told me she wanted me to find that episode. What are the chances right? I mean c'mon, there's so many episodes of that I will probably never see that again.

The end of January I had a major problem with my menstrual cycle for the 3rd time in the past 8 months and to be quite honest with you I was a mess. I was angry with God, crying, upset and absolutely hopeless. I felt like God had forgot about me and I was so desperate that when I was with my prayer warrior we decided to take a big chance and look on the internet for the episode of Mystery Diagnosis. I was sure that the episode had something to do with PCOS so that is what I searched for when I found the website for the show. In my search, GOD, and it was GOD I ran across this website I looked at their information on PCOS and found they had a personal program GUARENTEED to work. C'mon now how many things are guarenteed??? MILLIONS!!!! I can hear the commercials in my head right now, call NOW only 3 easy payments of just $19.95, GUARENTEED or your money back, right?? WRONG!!! I did however feel that the Lord had led me to finding this website which is a clinic in Maine, founded by 2 women MD's and 2 women Nurse Practioners. The more I researched the website the more interested I became. So my curiosity was up and to be honest maybe a glimer of hope was shining through once more. I decided to call. I told my entire story to the poor lady on the other end of the line and she listened intently and patiently. She told me that she truly believed this program would work for me and if it didn't she would gladly give me my money back. I thought that was good enough so I ordered it. February 12th my order arrived and within 3 days of taking what they call Herbal Equilibrium my menstrual cycle was fixed. March 14th marked 30 days on the 90 day program that I am on and I am here to tell you that my life is 100% different!!!! I haven't felt this good in 12 years! Almost every single symptom that I gave to the nice lady named Sarah on the other end of the line that day have disappeard. I was in total shock I called back after 3 days and spoke to Sarah once more and told her just what had happened. She told me that she didn't want me to get too excited since it would probably take the full 90 days to balance my hormones and it may seem like I go backwards at times but she too thought the news was wonderful!! I can't tell you how my life has changed and how the people close to me have noticed a difference in me.

This is the whole point of this blog just to tell you about this program. I don't recieve any benefits or commission from this, I just want women that maybe struggling with some of the same things or maybe even different symptoms but that come from hormonal imbalances to know that there is help and I am living proof. I could have spared you a lot of the details above and just put the website on here and said check it out but would you really have checked it out? Now that you know, I bet you'll check it out and read a little closer. This has truly changed my life. I am looking and praying for better things to happen in the next 60 days but even if it doesn't get any better than it is right now it's wonderful! I am happy to say that in the past 30 days I have only taken advil 3 times for a slight headache. I haven't had any of the tired, run down, feelings. I haven't been irratiable or had any mood swings. I feel GREAT!!! My attitude towards everything and everybody has changed.

I can't thank the Lord enough for what he has done. I feel so blessed and yet so sorry for the anger that I felt towards Him. I pray for His forgiveness and no matter what happens for us TTC I am blessed by God #1 to have a wonderful Husband whom I can't thank enough for loving me unconditionally, being there for me and helping me to try to find out what was wrong with me. #2 For the Lord to led me to this program and find what it took to make me well. #3 Some of the MANY lessons God has taught me through all of this; In our "instantanious" society where we tap our foot at the microwave we want things NOW, not tomorrow, not a year from now, but RIGHT NOW and we forget in our high tech world full of computers and digital cameras that God doesn't work that way. His ways are not our ways nor His thoughts our thoughts. I have learned to seek HIS will for my life, not MINE but HIS. Also God has showed me that "Bitter people NEVER get Better!" And certainly not to give up hope in God and suffer from the DANGER of doing nothing! After all in Matthew 9:20-22 the woman had issue with bleeding for 12 YEARS! She certainly didn't give up on Jesus...she said if she could only touch his cloak that she would be healed. However Jesus said it was her FAITH that had healed her. I too am like that woman, I have Faith that God is going to do whatever His will is for my life. I don't have to pray for a child, for if that isn't His will for my life it just isn't. I want His will for my life, not what I THINK is best but what He KNOWS is best. He hasn't ever let me down and I am not looking for him to start now.

I pray right now that this blog will not be anything more than a help for someone who may possibly be experiencing some of the same problems. If not then I pray that you are encouraged in some way. God Bless You!


Saturday, February 28, 2009

My God is BIGGER!!!!

Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

I have been through several trials the past couple of weeks and have had to constantly remind myself of this powerful verse. When people are so cruel and hurtful it is so hard to remember that our struggle truly isn't against them. The devil is so strong and powerful in this cold dark world and his forces of evil are truly the struggle. It seems like he is trying to attack me every which way I turn. I refuse to give into his lies, games and hurtful situations. When I think about the price Jesus paid for my sins it truly amazes me. It was also more than enough to stop the devil from constantly attacking me. Thank you Lord for what you went through for me and for your power that you still portray in my life to this day. At the NAME of JESUS the demons fear and tremble. Flee from me satan, for you have no power over me and my life!! JESUS is my Savior and King and he will stomp you in the ground for me any day!!!!

Friday, February 6, 2009

So maybe it's time for an Allergy Dr.!!!

During his shower tonite, Brian's throat starting swelling up AGAIN! After realizing it had to be something in the shower, he looked at his shampoo and body wash and the first ingredient is a sulfur based ingredient! He had to take a Benadryl and we have decided that we are going to make an appointment with an allergy Dr. to see if he can do something for this major sensitivity to sulfur. If not, we shall suffer but if so that would be wonderful!! This is scary and getting very old in a hurry. Poor Brian is worn out and has to work tomorrow. Remember him in your prayers and I shall keep you informed on the allergy Doc! Sulfur...boy that 6 letter word has sure caused some scary and crazy things around our house lately!

Update on my Honey Bunches of ALLERGIES?!?!

Brian finally got to come home Monday afternoon from the hospital. He was sent home with 3 days worth of steriods and has been taking those. He has been having shortness of breath and a pounding heart which we think that is from the steriods. However the Dr. said he could have developed chemical induced asthma or tiny blood clots in his lungs from the reaction. We really won't know until 3 days after been off of the steriods. We had another scare last night when after drinking an RC Cola his throat started to swell again. We went back to the E.R. and after another chest x-ray the Dr. said his throat was beginning to swell again. He also told Brian that sulfur is in sooo many things. Asprin, lots of food, drinks (Benzoic Acid, found in some soft drinks), MSG's, perservatives and even water! The list is endless!!! He told Brian he would have to get used to this and to take Benadryl with him every where he goes. This is a scary feeling and Brian has been very scared to eat and drink. Those of you who know Brian know that he is already very thin and doesn't ever need to refrain from eating! Brian has been doing lots of research and finding out more and more about his allergy to sulfur. If you have an allergy to sulfur or anything else, you may want to do research as well. Even Brian as a nurse didn't realize all of the things that sulfur is in. I hope things are on the up and up for Brian and his allergic reaction. His face is swollen and red from all of the steriods but other than that he is doing better. Thanks for all the prayers and concerns! Take care everyone and watch out for allergies to drugs, they sure can be dangerous!